2015-“Badlands” and Gay Bar Etiquette

2015-“Badlands” and Gay Bar Etiquette



This is still my favorite dance bar in San Francisco. The music IS  reliable with vocals rather than that techno crap that drones on at so many gay events in The City or the rap you often have to endure at straight clubs. There are monitors around the dance floor and a video d.j. mixes the vids. I am not an alcohol drinker so can’t say much about the drinks. My biggest complaint about Badlands is the same complaint I have had about other gay bars. All of us have our straight women that we love but is it really necessary to bring them to the gay club? It seems to me that a lot of young gay men are terrified of other gay men and it looks like they bring their girls to protect them? I don’t pretend to understand the need of some gay men to bring straight women to a gay bar. It FEELS like they are “slumming,” -a “zoo” mentality. The girls giggle & squeal at the gay men that were in the bathroom when they went to use it. OMG! Squeal. Giggle. It is really annoying. IF you are a gay man that insists on bringing straight women to a gay bar, I would just like to suggest some etiquette for you to convey to her. These apply to any gay dance bar, not just Badlands:

1. Tell your straight bff to leave her coat at home, in the car or CHECK IT! Do NOT put your coats in the middle of the dance floor. Do not dance in a group around a pile of coats!!

2. Do not bring a purse to a gay bar! Leave your purse, backpack, luggage or whatever it is that you are carrying, at home or leave it in the car. Someone trying to dance with a big purse under their arm just looks stupid!! (AND then you won’t be whining about your cell phone getting stolen out of your purse! BTW, leave your cell in the car or at home too. You don’t need it in a gay bar! You only need an ID and cash.)

3. Do not take your drinks onto the dance floor! Yes, you may see gay men bringing their drinks onto the dance floor but they really shouldn’t either! Drink the drinks while your chatting with friends. There are little ledges & tables on which you can leave your drinks while dancing. You do not need those drinks with you on the dance floor! If you have a drink in your hand, are you really “dancing” anyway? (Some gay men are highly skilled at drinking on the dance floor but they have been practicing for years. YOU should not do it!!! You will spill it all over the floor and others near you!!)

4. Do not line dance, square dance, swing dance, ballroom dance or any other kind of dancing that entails holding your partners hand & swinging them around the dance floor, knocking over all the other dancers. This is considered sloppy and rude behavior! Contain yourself in your personal space on the dance floor and avoid throwing yourself into other dancers.

5. No “parking” on the dance floor. You are taking up space from those that actually want to dance.

6. Don’t dance in group circles. It’s really obnoxious.

7. IF you are a straight women & bring your straight bf to the gay bar, you are responsible for him & his behavior!  PLEASE do not feel you have to prove to everyone that your bf is straight by sticking your tongue down his throat. If you want to make out with your straight bf, go to a straight bar or get a room. Look around- Do you see gay men making out in the gay dance bar? Probably not. So why would you think we all want to watch two straight people making out- AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, if you MUST have some tongue, at least get off the dance floor!!!

8. No slow dancing in a gay dance club. Yuck. No “break dancing!” No dancing that entails laying down on the floor. Save all of that for the straight bar, please.

9. We know how much straight women love coming to gay bars. There is a reason for this- they are GAY bars!! Hello? IF you are a straight woman that likes coming to gay bars, please don’t come back by yourself with your straight boyfriend, regardless of how “liberal” he is or a group of your straight women friends! You should consider it a privilege that your “gay” brought you to the gay bar in the first place. You shouldn’t think that it is now okay for you to bring all your straight friends to goggle the “gays.” We are not there for your amusement. A gay bar should not feel like a zoo. Gay bars are not a place for you to “slum.”  There is nothing that ruins a gay bar faster than a lot of straight people! If you love hanging out with straight people, go to the straight bar where you can dance in a group around a pile of coats and purses and spill your drinks all over the dance floor.

10. Lastly, straight women should not dance like they are a stripper on a pole trying to seduce someone with their hotness. Remember, this is a gay bar! Nobody is interested in how your breasts heave and your ass twerks.  Only gay men can get away with those moves in a gay bar because they look “cute” doing it. Straight women just look desperate. If you need a meat rack atmosphere, go to a straight dance club where all those “sexy” moves will be appreciated!!

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