Milton and I met around 1982-1983. We had been together for 32 years when we got married.
When we were still attending First Christian Church in Vallejo, we had attended a “commitment” ceremony of two male church members. It was not a legal marriage at the time because of proposition 8 but for all appearances, it looked like a wedding. Although we didn’t know these guys well, Milton and I were both moved by the ceremony. I did my best to hold in my emotions but I started shaking and tears came streaming from my eyes and I could barely breathe! I muffled my sobs. Later, Milton said that he had felt very emotional, too. I said something to the effect of, “If we get this emotional at somebody else’s ceremony, I don’t think I could ever survive our own wedding ceremony!”
A few years later, the Supreme Court overruled proposition 8 and Milton and I decided we would get married. Neither of us wear jewelry so we decided we would not do wedding rings. We didn’t really need a wedding to keep us together but thought that it would be wise for legal purposes.
I considered inviting my best friend at the time but then Milton wanted to invite a relative of his if I invited my friend. I knew it was going to be an emotional moment in our lives and there is nothing worse for me than to feel a loss of control in public. I hate feeling emotionally out of control in front of others. That is one reason I always prefer seeing tear jerker movies at home rather than in the theater. I just can’t enjoy them unless I can let me emotions go.
My grand-nephew, Alex, who had lived with us from 16-18 had moved to San Francisco and was living in his own place by that time. I asked him to come to the wedding and be our witness. He agreed to come, be our witness and photographer.
We got the marriage license and made an appointment for our marriage at City Hall in San Francisco. We dressed nicely but neither Milton or I wanted to wear suits. The woman officiating was very kind. She apologized to us for having had to wait 32 years to get married. When she said that, I felt my emotional control slipping away.
We both cried throughout the ceremony. I was glad that I had not invited anyone else. I know that other people would have made me feel even more out of control emotionally. Alex took the pics and some video: